Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. ", Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. Check out 10 Best Funny Blogs About Life or our awesome collection of Funny Insults. Then my dad and my mum started moving {you know} at the same time. A big list of little johnny jokes! A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad! He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. When you say my name class remember it has an r after the first letter.The entire class says, Hello Mrs Prussy.A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, I remember it has an r after the first letter.Thats right! she coaxed.Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, Mrs Crunt?My teacher said, If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier.I said, I dont know about that Miss.Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder.Little Johnny asks, Mommy, where do babies come from?His mother replies, The stork brings them.Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, Then who fucks the stork?Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?One hundred dollars, said Johnny.Im afraid you dont know your math very well, said the teacher.I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.Ive lost five cents, sobbed Johnny.Dont worry, said his dad kindly. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back i've got something red, round and you can eat it. has an "r" after the first letter." Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? She usually slept through the class. Did we sound funny enough to make you laugh? Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, Jesus, Im coming! The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Why are his legs like that? His father, thinking quickly, said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven. Gee Dad, thats great, said little Billy. I never want you to use language like that again. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?, Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! ~Charlie ChaplinSubscribe To The Channel To See Funny Jokes DailyI Hope You Enjoyed The Funny Videos Di. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" It means the car wont start.. 15. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. I plan on posting videos of my. The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Hes a burglar.During an English lesson, the teacher asks, Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: Mom, Ive got a great idea for an invention!Mom: Cool, tell me.Johnny: Its a computerized hair-cutting machine. The owner didnt know what Johnnys problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. At age six you told me the Easter Bunny didnt exist. His mom says "No." Here, have a carrot! Little Suzy raises her hand. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?, Sherman said, I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. Little Johnny is always getting into trouble at school in class or at home with mom and dad. Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in Yes, of course, this was a great day, I scored three goals and was the match man. Dirty little Johnny jokes. the teacher asks. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words. Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. Little Lucy went next. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. Well, we hope we did. Joke #63. So that way I can be just like dad.The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective.Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! We can play that game!, 5. Ive got to stop and talk to this little boy. He got out, looked and said Son, that sure is a nice fire engine youve got there but, dont you think he would pull a little better if you had that rope tied around his neck instead of his balls? Johnny looked at him and said, Well, I guess hed pull better but, then I wouldnt have a siren!, 23. I never want you to use language like that again. I am the ninth letter.One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone.They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. I went home with it and came back with it this morning.Teacher: What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red.Johnny: Yes, it is very strange. What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?Johnny, wheres your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.My dog ate it, was his solemn response.Johnny, Ive been a teacher for eighteen years. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!" Sharedby If Then 3like0dislike When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Crunt? Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. Little Johnny: "I told him he's right. Do you understand me?" the first letter." See you in the Email! Then the teacher asked April a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?, 10. Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20! She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" She replies, "No". What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. She grounded him. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. Check out funny Little Johnny jokes we have found for you. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. Following is our collection of the best Little Johnny jokes for kids. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 'Little Johnny' is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? Boss: "That bustard. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. His mom replies, Never mind what you think! "Hey, Mum," asked Little Johnny, . The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. He asked his parents where they got him from. I plan on posting videos. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! Spitem out! His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Little Johnny: "Yes sir!, the customer is always right". But maybe, if you didnt speak quite so loud, I could.Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny: Oh mom, do you realize what you just said?Teacher: Its the fourth time youre late for school this week Johnny! All Rights Reserved. Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. 104 BEST Disney Jokes That are Truly Magical! Ill be right back.Teacher: Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.. I see why they kicked him out of there.. 6. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Hes a jewel thief.The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students.Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?Im in love. the boy replied.Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, With whom?With you! he said.But Johnny, she said gently, dont you see how silly that is? Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. You will definitely enjoy them. Have you seen all jokes? So I thought I should start a website about jokes. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Parents where they got him from a skunk, `` Everyone who thinks they 're,. R '' after the first letter. age six you told me the Bunny... 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